Playing Matchmaker…Maybe so!

13 07 2010

So, a very good girlfriend of mine and I have both been in the midst of some tumultuous affairs of the heart as of late.  So in an effort to have some fun and start fresh, we have pledged to play matchmaker for each other.  Sound crazy?  Probably, but I’m game for it.  Listen, it makes sense: we sometimes don’t know what is best for us, while our close friends know exactly what we need (and vice versa).  This little social experiment can’t hurt, especially if I am able to get a few good blogs posts out of the deal (anything that will force me to update on a regular basis can be all bad, right?). 

To kick things off, we are each going to make a list of “deal breakers.”  For example, I CAN’T date him if he is under 5’10 (and that’s being generous…I know, I know, you don’t grow as a person by limiting yourself, but c’mon–I’m 5’9 flat footed and I rarely leave the house w/o 4 inch heels on.  So, give a sista a break).  I am going to be very liberal when it comes to race, ethnicity and cultural background (I may even temporary lift my unofficial ban of West Indian men.  However, the ban on men from Nigeria and Ghana remains (I’m referring to 1st Generation only), I don’t care  how fine they may be–yeah, yeah, yeah, let the hate mail begin but IT IS WHAT IT IS.Anyway. 

Wish me luck.  This should be a very interesting experiment.


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Categories : Matchmaker, Who I'd Like to Date, Who Not To Date, dating, relationships

Bookshelf: His Ingredient Label

26 07 2010

So along with my own personal thoughts about this crazy thing we call dating, I also like to introduce my readers (all three of y’all, lol) to resources that can assist and point us single gals (and guys) in the right direction.  Author and Healthy Relationship Activist Jennifer Tardy has written a great book to help us recognize the “junk”  in men we are date and/or are attracted to…

About Jennifer Tardy & Her Debut Book His Ingredient Label: A Woman’s Guide to Recognizing A Junk Food Man 

As a former native of Hurt, Virginia, J. M. Tardy grew up like any small-town girl. Curious and insightful, she has always been very curious about the big world around her. She graduated from Gretna High School and then went on to receive both her bachelor’s and master’s degrees from Virginia Tech, in Blacksburg, Virginia. She currently resides in Charlotte, North Carolina, where she works in the nuclear industry as a human resources professional. As an HR professional, her research has long been in understanding the behaviors of adults in the workplace. She also sources and attracts the best and the brightest talent. Her next goal is to further her behavioral research while attaining her Ph.D.

It wasn’t until she realized that many of the single women that she knew seemed to be asking the same relationship questions, going through the same experiences, and justifying their actions with the same reasoning that she was able to make sense out of her own life experiences. It wasn’t until recently that she even knew what her gift was: encouraging healthy relationships and healing broken hearts.

Her books stem from her personal research and the stories told by others. She wants each volume to grow as she grows and experiences new challenges in life. She knew that she had found the secret to healing a broken heart, but didn’t believe it was fair to just share this information with her girlfriends; she wants to share it with the world; and with this collection of books, she is sharing it with you. Visit her online at www.JenniferTardy.com.

Current Project:  His Ingredient Label: A Woman’s Guide to Recognizing a Junk Food Man

 

His Ingredient Label shows you how men are like foods to which you can become addicted if you don’t control yourself. It helps you to recognize how your own decision-making can be the first step to a healthier relationship, and it demonstrates how to recognize the true character of a man by investigating what he is made of.  This is the first volume in the Forever Tardy, but Never Late Collection.

To purchase your copy, click here


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Categories : Things I find On the Net, dating, relationships

Veganism is so Sexy!

5 06 2010

I’ve been vegan my entire life, and I must say that the hardest thing is finding African American men to date that are  (a) vegan or vegetarian (b) vegan/vegetarian friendly  or (c) open to learning more about the lifestyle and want to incorporate vegan/vegetarian foods into their current diet. 

I’m always in awe when I see black men who are vegan.  Always a major turn on.  Case in point, Common.  Vegan, talented and fine.  If only Serena were not in the picture…oh well. 

Know of any cute vegan guys?  Tell them to follow me on Twitter :-)   Holla!


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Categories : Who I'd Like to Date, dating

Let’s Talk About It…

17 05 2010

Photo Credit: www.myhealth.gov

I really amuse myself sometimes.  I haven’t updated this blog in eons, and what is my first topic of conversation after millions of years (well, one year), you guessed it–SEX.  I was thinking about the implications of pre-marital sex as well as sex outside the confines of a committed relationship, and I stumbled upon this article: Speaking Up About Sex.  I must say, it gave one of the best definitions of sex that I have ever read:

“More than touching between two people, sex is a physical manifestation of an emotional event—entering into the inner recesses of another’s soul and accepting the enter-er into yours. In cases of abuse, sex feels violating for exactly this reason. It’s an emotional invasion expressed through physical contact.”

The author goes on to explain the reason why sex outside of marriage can be so damaging:

“Sex within marriage offers a mutual, respectful sharing that symbolizes love—an invitation and an acceptance to permanently participate in each other’s whole personhood. It plays a key role in God’s plan for married unity. Sex outside marriage results in eventual pain because that “invitation” will ultimately be returned to sender. The acceptance note receives a “decline” in response. A blended soul rips apart, back into two pieces.”

It’s definitely a strong argument against pre-marital relations for sure…but what about those who don’t believe in the sanctity of modern marriage (have you read about the divorce rate? Astounding)…Does this explanation of sex not extend to those in committed relationships?  The black and white answer is no, not by Biblical definitions…the grayish answer–depends on what you believe. 

I’m still forming my opinion.  I know right from wrong, and all that jazz, but isn’t the road to enlightenment paved with questions and concerns regarding “group think” and “common thought?”   Or maybe I’m just trying to find justification for doing something that feels good, but may not be good for me.  Or maybe, I just wanted to talk about sex for my first blog entry in more than  a year…yeah, that’s it.


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Categories : No Ring No Sex, Things I find On the Net, dating, relationships

Am I Ready to Swoon?

21 05 2009

So, Men’s Health published the top 41 ways to make a woman swoon on their website…interesting stuff, check out the list here:

http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/make_her_swoon/index.php

What’s your take people…Ladies, do you like this list?  Fellas, has any of these tactics worked for you?


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Categories : dating, relationships

Another Dirty Word

20 05 2009

I’m starting to believe that “dating” is a dirty word, something sinister and beguiling. The dating ritual always seems to start off amazing—then the inevitable happens…nothing.

I think I’m just sick of me and ALL of my single female friends singing the same ole song: Boy Meets Girl. Boy pretends to be _____________ (insert applicable characteristic) in order to impress Girl. Girl gets swept up in the moment. Boy reveals true self, Girl is horrified. Girl is back at square one.

I don’t want to date anymore. I want to get married and just deal with the foolishness of one man for the rest of my life. In this case, familiarity will not breed contempt. So, I wait…I’ll have fun in the interim “interviewing” the various prospects that come my way; I’ll just live life in the moment, not really thinking too hard about what the future may hold. I’ll be my fabulous self until God places the right one beside me. No doubt I’ll know him when I see him. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve already met him but it wasn’t the right time (well, I know I’ve met my soul mate along the way even if that person doesn’t end up being my husband to be). But we never know what tomorrow may bring.

Side note: What’s hilarious is that there are at least three guys who are probably assuming that I am referring to them in this blog entry…My life is truly a soap opera—dramatic and entertaining.

 

 


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Categories : Who Not To Date, dating

Marching On…

13 04 2009

As I approach my upcoming 33rd birthday (I know, gasp, a woman revealing her true age in a public forum), I am starting to feel like a cow marching towards slaughter. It’s crazy, everywhere I look, people are trying to marry me off. I, personally, don’t feel like these are “desperate” times but apparently my mother and every other 50 something adult feels the need to try and find the ONE for me. What?!#…talk about pressure.

 

Don’t get it twisted, I would rather not be single right now, but I don’t want to feel like a piece of meat either. For example, I was in church on Easter and one of the elders of the church made the point of telling about his wonderful, newly divorced 40 something year old son who would be absolutely perfect for me. I’m constantly hearing about somebody’s cousin, nephew or brother, who is apparently my knight in shining armor. Yeah, okay. I’m not saying that one of these fantastic men may not be the one for me…but really, it is so awful that I am waiting on love and marriage at my own pace. This is one aspect of my life I don’t want to rush, for which  I am willing to wait …and totally ready to accept the fact the wait may be longer than I initially anticipated. What can I say…God’s Will.


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Categories : dating, love

Good Advice

6 04 2009

I really wish I would learn how to take my own advice.  Instead of getting out there and “Surveying the Scene” as I stated I would do in an earlier post, I have been looking for love in all the wrong places…yep, ladies and gents I have turned into a workholic.  No fun, just work ALL THE TIME.  If I am not working on my business, then I am doing stuff for the day job.  If I am not focused completely on work, then I am working on church business (which I am totally not complaining about–I love working for the Lord).  But when does any of that translate into me time?  Duh, it doesn’t; thus, that burnt out feeling begins.  

Who knows why I am feeling this way…perhaps it is the approach of another birthday being single in my 30′s.  Sometimes I feel empowered, other times I feel…a bit lonely.  It’s a rollercoaster.  But all I can do is be patient, and see where I land. 

So, today I promise to take time for myself.  Recharge, Rejuvenate and Release…I think it’s time that I take care of who should be the most important person in my life—me.


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Categories : No Ring, dating, love

Giving Up…Maybe

22 01 2009

wtf1I’ve given up…not on love of course, never that…but I have given up on the possibility of being involved with a well adjusted, attainable and stable man. What do I mean by “well adjusted, attainable and stable man?” I’m so glad you asked that question. I mean I need the exact opposite of what I have been subjected to lately…

For example, if you are a needy man, you need not apply. I can be extremely giving and supportive, but I don’t deify…and sometimes the men that I have had the (mis) fortune of dealing with somehow got the impression that they are the best thing since sliced bread. Like, OMG, really? Brother please. That seems to be a common issue particularly with those gentlemen who work, live and breathe in the entertainment industry. To some extent, I can understand. To survive in this line of business, it is necessary to have a certain amount of drive and confidence…nonetheless, that still doesn’t give you a free pass to act like a complete and utter idiot…

And as far as what I mean by “attainable”, I am simply describing a man who is just that, attainable. Meaning mentally, spiritually and physically he is not tied to someone or something else. That could mean being married or having a girlfriend, that could mean chemically dependent or having credit worst than mine…it covers myriad concerns, lol…

I’m just venting…but in this crazy world of dating and relationships, sometimes you just have to.


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Categories : Who Not To Date, dating

Keeping Warm

6 01 2009

Screw it, I’ll just give up dating and get a Snuggie. At least it will consistently keep me warm and be there whenever I need it, lol.


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Categories : Things I find On the Net

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