Diary of A Dating Diva

Am I Ready to Swoon?

jameka — Thu, 21 May 2009 20:37:45 +0000

So, Men’s Health published the top 41 ways to make a woman swoon on their website…interesting stuff, check out the list here:

http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/make_her_swoon/index.php

What’s your take people…Ladies, do you like this list? Fellas, has any of these tactics worked for you?

Another Dirty Word

jameka — Wed, 20 May 2009 16:57:20 +0000

I’m starting to believe that “dating” is a dirty word, something sinister and beguiling. The dating ritual always seems to start off amazing—then the inevitable happens…nothing.

I think I’m just sick of me and ALL of my single female friends singing the same ole song: Boy Meets Girl. Boy pretends to be _____________ (insert applicable characteristic) in order to impress Girl. Girl gets swept up in the moment. Boy reveals true self, Girl is horrified. Girl is back at square one.

I don’t want to date anymore. I want to get married and just deal with the foolishness of one man for the rest of my life. In this case, familiarity will not breed contempt. So, I wait…I’ll have fun in the interim “interviewing” the various prospects that come my way; I’ll just live life in the moment, not really thinking too hard about what the future may hold. I’ll be my fabulous self until God places the right one beside me. No doubt I’ll know him when I see him. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve already met him but it wasn’t the right time (well, I know I’ve met my soul mate along the way even if that person doesn’t end up being my husband to be). But we never know what tomorrow may bring.

Side note: What’s hilarious is that there are at least three guys who are probably assuming that I am referring to them in this blog entry…My life is truly a soap opera—dramatic and entertaining.

Marching On…

jameka — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 14:09:06 +0000

As I approach my upcoming 33^rd birthday (I know, gasp, a woman revealing her true age in a public forum), I am starting to feel like a cow marching towards slaughter. It’s crazy, everywhere I look, people are trying to marry me off. I, personally, don’t feel like these are “desperate” times but apparently my mother and every other 50 something adult feels the need to try and find the ONE for me. What?!#…talk about pressure.

Don’t get it twisted, I would rather not be single right now, but I don’t want to feel like a piece of meat either. For example, I was in church on Easter and one of the elders of the church made the point of telling about his wonderful, newly divorced 40 something year old son who would be absolutely perfect for me. I’m constantly hearing about somebody’s cousin, nephew or brother, who is apparently my knight in shining armor. Yeah, okay. I’m not saying that one of these fantastic men may not be the one for me…but really, it is so awful that I am waiting on love and marriage at my own pace. This is one aspect of my life I don’t want to rush, for which I am willing to wait …and totally ready to accept the fact the wait may be longer than I initially anticipated. What can I say…God’s Will.

Good Advice

jameka — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:35:27 +0000

I really wish I would learn how to take my own advice. Instead of getting out there and “Surveying the Scene” as I stated I would do in an earlier post, I have been looking for love in all the wrong places…yep, ladies and gents I have turned into a workholic. No fun, just work ALL THE TIME. If I am not working on my business, then I am doing stuff for the day job. If I am not focused completely on work, then I am working on church business (which I am totally not complaining about–I love working for the Lord). But when does any of that translate into me time? Duh, it doesn’t; thus, that burnt out feeling begins.

Who knows why I am feeling this way…perhaps it is the approach of another birthday being single in my 30’s. Sometimes I feel empowered, other times I feel…a bit lonely. It’s a rollercoaster. But all I can do is be patient, and see where I land.

So, today I promise to take time for myself. Recharge, Rejuvenate and Release…I think it’s time that I take care of who should be the most important person in my life—me.

Giving Up…Maybe

jameka — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 17:01:38 +0000

I’ve given up…not on love of course, never that…but I have given up on the possibility of being involved with a well adjusted, attainable and stable man. What do I mean by “well adjusted, attainable and stable man?” I’m so glad you asked that question. I mean I need the exact opposite of what I have been subjected to lately…

For example, if you are a needy man, you need not apply. I can be extremely giving and supportive, but I don’t deify…and sometimes the men that I have had the (mis) fortune of dealing with somehow got the impression that they are the best thing since sliced bread. Like, OMG, really? Brother please. That seems to be a common issue particularly with those gentlemen who work, live and breathe in the entertainment industry. To some extent, I can understand. To survive in this line of business, it is necessary to have a certain amount of drive and confidence…nonetheless, that still doesn’t give you a free pass to act like a complete and utter idiot…

And as far as what I mean by “attainable”, I am simply describing a man who is just that, attainable. Meaning mentally, spiritually and physically he is not tied to someone or something else. That could mean being married or having a girlfriend, that could mean chemically dependent or having credit worst than mine…it covers myriad concerns, lol…

I’m just venting…but in this crazy world of dating and relationships, sometimes you just have to.

Keeping Warm

jameka — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 16:57:06 +0000

Screw it, I’ll just give up dating and get a Snuggie. At least it will consistently keep me warm and be there whenever I need it, lol.

Surveying the Scene

jameka — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 04:30:31 +0000

So I’ve decided that instead of complaining about the dating scene for the professional, educated and dare I say “independent” black woman, I am going to do the unthinkable…I am going to embrace it. First of all, anyone with good common sense knows that that absolute worst thing for any woman to do is to go looking for a man. Trust and believe ladies, God will send your husband. Now, that doesn’t mean you have to wait around and be bored in the process. I’m a firm believer that you can still have fun in the interim of waiting for your soul mate (hopefully you haven’t met him yet and just didn’t recognize him for some reason, but I digress). Of course, the definition of fun varies from person to person (gal to gal in this case). For the record, I am not advocating “fun” as being synonymous with “relations”…no, no, unless you know for sure where the other person has been (and preferably wearing a gold band on the left finger), I would not suggest going out and getting your freak on in the name of pure unadulterated fun-get your minds out of the gutter people…let’s be retro for a moment and think 1950’s fun:-). But what I am saying is there is nothing wrong with “dating like a man.” Men don’t always necessarily think of every woman they go out with on a date as being their future wife. They allow themselves to get to know people without the pressures associated with desperately seeking out that life partner…ladies, it’s not that serious, plus, the desperate look is not in style last time I checked. Just chill out and have fun when you go out with a guy…stop fantasizing about what he is going to look like in his tux on your wedding date or how soon you are going to have kids and buy a house with a white picket fence together.

All in all…let nature take its course. before you know it, Prince Charming will sweep you off your feet when you least expect it. And then the daydreams will cease and the beautiful reality of a happily ever after will set in. Be patient…all in God’s time.

To Be Loved…

jameka — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:19:26 +0000

I was in church service on Sunday, and Pastor’s message was all about love. His specific topic was “love will go all the way-always.” I thought that was a great sentiment, and the whole thing really touched me. His wife, and our other Pastor, is going through an extremely tough and turbulent battle with Cancer right now. And what was so beautiful was that every time he said his wife’s name, there was such tangible joy and love just hanging in the air. It got me to thinking…wow, to be loved like that…so honestly and completely. And I know where it stems from…because Pastor has such a strong connection to God, he knows exactly what true love is; and therefore able to show true love to his wife, family and congregation in myriad ways.

So, if I am ever going to be loved like that, I must first get my own priorities in order…I will just continue to ask God for guidance, keeping him first, and then allowing all the other pieces of the puzzle to fit together accordingly. Love is a beautiful thing…

Tips To Ensure Your Man Does Not Cheat On You

jameka — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 19:33:01 +0000

I got this from another blogger…what do you all think…Fact or Fiction?

(http://balleralert.ning.com/profiles/blog/show?id=2015113%3ABlogPost%3A200409)

Keep him intellectually stimulatedMen are easily bored by women who lack ideas and are not up to speed on the affairs of the day. In order to hold the interest of your man, you must be able to discuss ideas that will expand his knowledge base. Teach him something he does not know, or share your opinion on a subject you know he is passionate about, and you can be sure he will want to have you around for a long time.

Look your best

Beauty and brains attract men like moths to a flame. If you keep him intellectually stimulated, and you also have the body that excites him, you have a powerful magnet that can keep him hooked on you for as long as you wish. Make sure that you do what you must to look good. Do your hair, nails, put on a little makeup, and whatever you do, stay away from layer and layers of makeup. Get clothes that accentuate the best part of you. Do not wear tight-fitting clothes, if you do not have the shapely body to go with it. Know what fits you and wear it.

If you have not enrolled in a gym, you need to do so right away. It is not enough to just eat the right foods and pop diet pills daily. You must eat a balanced diet and enroll in an exercise regimen to help increase your metabolism. Find a workout partner, or sign up for a personal trainer at your gym who can motivate you and design a workout program to fix your problem areas. You will certainly gain good health along with a positive mental attitude. Remember, when you keep fit and look good, you are not doing it just for your man. You are doing it for yourself as well.

Massage his ego once in while

Let your man know how good he is to you and how much you value him in your life. When your man feels that he is adding value to your life, when he feels appreciated, your are massaging his ego. Now you must be careful not to overdo this; otherwise it loses its impact, and your man may see you as a “brown noser”.

Give him his space

Do not monitor how he spends every second of the day. Do not put him on a timer. Treat your man like an adult who has the ability to manage how he wants to spend his time. The more freedom you give him, more trusted he feels. And when your man feels you trust him, he is less apt to go out and cheat on you. Men will run away from you, if you try to cramp their style. If you keep tracking your where your man goes and who he is spending time with, you run the risk of alienating him.

Keep him sexually satisfied

A sexually satisfied man is like a dog that is well fed; you will not find it digging through the garbage. A sexually satisfied man is like an employee that works for a company that gives all employees full medical benefits, a great salary and excellent bonuses. You will not see an employee of such a company looking for a job elsewhere. I have used some analogies to attempt to paint a picture for you, but these scenarios fit the point I am making.

To find out the quickest way to make your man fall madly in love with you, You will get proven tips, tricks and techniques you can use to make your love sizzle and make your man fall head over heels in love with you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Ubah

Fact or Fiction…Scary Nonetheless

jameka — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 20:18:16 +0000

I received this as a forward in my email box today….

______________

Minister with AIDS…read this. Wow!!!

To those of you who are single or married, saved or not saved, this is for you. I am a 35-year-old African American or Black brother dying of Aids. I would like to share my testimony with you. I am an owner of a Mortgage Company in Atlanta , GA. I own a 1999 Jaguar and I also own a $350,000 beautiful home in Cobb County . I have a beautiful Lady who is deeply in love with me and a loving family. But most important, I have Jesus…..

This is just a wake up call to all single brothers and sisters who are professing to be Christians, but don’t want to be complete. Brothers, I had a beautiful young lady who loves the Lord and worships the ground I walk on. BUT I still wasn’t quite happy because sometimes I would see another sister with a Coca-Cola bottle shape and just wanted to hit it. Because I was using a condom, I thought that I wouldn’t catch the killer ‘AIDS’ but guess what? I did. And the person I caught it from was a girl that I knew well. But the condom came off and now I am dying of AIDS. Yes, I wore a condom. But yes it did happen.

God gives us time after time to straighten our lives up. I do know the Lord in the pardon of my sins. I’ve been saved now for 7 years. I found out 7 months ago that I had the virus, and now I have full-blown Aids. I really didn’t think that I was doing anything wrong, because I would tell the women who I would deal with about the woman I love. I thought that was good enough. But it wasn’t. I am a good man and also a God-fearing man; but my weakness was women.. I really wasn’t out there like you may think I was, but every once and a while I would see something I wanted to try. My girlfriend is a praying woman. I know now that she was intimate with me because she loved me and she wanted to make me happy. Now I’ve given AIDS to the woman I love (who has been faithful to me) because of lust.

Brothers and sisters, what I am telling you is that God is tired of us hurting each other and using each other for self-gratification. God has given me my home, my dream car and a beautiful woman and I took it all for granted. I’ve been tithing for 7 years. I am the chairman of my Deacon Board. But when I told my Pastor I had AIDS, he could not believe it because of the way I would carry myself. Brothers. If you have a sister who loves the Lord and who loves you for who you are and not for what you look like and not for what you have, cherish her. Sisters…If you have a brother who loves the Lord, love him and cherish him.

My life has been altered. I’ve been with my lady since I was 20, and I’ve always used my young age as an excuse for not being loyal and not settling down with the woman I loved. I was being a hypocrite thinking that I was missing something, and not realizing that I had a good woman who loved and adored me. I wish I had been a real man and had appreciated the good woman God had sent me by not making excuses and dedicating my life to her. I would love to travel and marry this beautiful young Lady — but now I can’t.

I’ve embarrassed my family, my church and my friends. But I was hardheaded and now I must suffer. God is cleaning up. Stop playing with God. God is revealing the secrets of us Christians. Brothers and sisters, we don’t have to have so many ‘friends,’ You know what we call them. The ones we are planning to sleep with but haven’t yet.’ We often say that we don’t want anyone to know our business, but God is about to reveal some things especially to us young people.

We think so carnal. But we say that we have been transformed. We have been transformed from what we want to be transformed from.. Let’s be real. God knows that the opposite sex attracts us. And he knows the desires we have for each other, but we don’t have to have multiple partners. If I could do it all over again, I would marry the woman I love and live happy forever. But now I can’t! But you can!
Singles… I gotta tell you, it’s not worth it. I love you all! Get rid of casual sex . This is really deep. After you’ve read this, think about yourself. Could this have been you? Some of you may not relate, but think about anything you are doing right now that is not of God…

We are living in the last and final days, and pretending to be saved is not going to cut it. Professing that He is Lord, and yet worshiping the devil every chance you get will lead you to the same path as me. Get your mind out of the gutter and put it in the Word of God and you’ll have great success. Don’t and you’ll have great woe. I love the LORD and thank Him for all that He does in my life; therefore, I’m passing this on. Yes, I do love Jesus who has forgiven me of the repeated sins.

That forgiveness does not cancel out the consequences, at least not so far. But that’s on me. Still, the Lord is my source of existence and Savior. He keeps me functioning each day and is letting me share my story with you. I’m telling it like it is THIS REALLY is to help somebody. Without Him, I will be nothing. Without Him, I am nothing but with Him I can do all things.

Phil 4:13 If you love Jesus, send this to lots of people!!!!!!

Be Positive – Be Progressive.Take the time to make a positive difference in someone’s life.

Minister Anthony J. Cox

God Bless ‘When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.’
To whom Much is Given, Much is required.

Jeremiah 29:11 I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out–plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.