Memories

20 04 2011

It’s amazing how a good love song can instantly transport you to a different time in your life…this song always makes me think of someone in particular…ah, the memories:-)





Attention Deficit: Stop. Look. Listen!

25 03 2011

“If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay…”
— Oprah Winfrey

Ladies, I know you all have heard the above quote over and over again…but it is so true and right on point.  Today’s lesson is “stop, look, listen and react accordingly.”

We are nurturers.  We want to encourage and nurture relationships with the men we like, find attractive (physically, mentally and spiritually) and who we *think* could be good for us…and truly there’s nothing wrong with that; however, we sometimes make the mistake of projecting our own personal expectations on that of men who (for whatever reason) are not in the same space or on the same page with us. 

Have you experienced that euphoria of just getting to know someone you really like…he seems to get you…you get him.  There’s chemistry, mutual respect, lots of flirting.  You want to dig deeper, spend more time together, see what happens…BANG…road block suddenly appears, and you are like…what the heck just happened.

In an effort to explore this phenomenon, I’ve done an informal poll (no it’s not scientific, but close enough for my purposes).  I’ve discovered that when “he” senses that you like him, the man doesn’t think he needs to step up his game anymore…that he doesn’t even need to try.  So, this is the point in the “getting to know you” period where the “I was just thinking about you” calls and texts stop…this is where the late night phone calls and flirting sessions end….and (drum roll please) where the push to spend quality time with you all but disappears.  Ladies, if you find yourself being the one who is continually suggesting that you all hang out, that you all should talk or that you all need some quality time together…just STOP!  Simply stop, look around and listen to the quote above in your mind “If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay…”

It’s a truly simple concept.  If a man wants you (meaning wants to see you, talk to you, etc.) he will make it happen, regardless of how busy he is.  So ladies, let’s just stop…get out of the driver’s seat and let the men pursue us.  That way, we won’t need to second guess…AND most of all, we will get the attention we seek and crave. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this one. Fellas, you are welcome to reply.

*photo courtesy of http://www.jessewilliamsonline.com/photos.php




Helpful Hints (Found this Article online)

17 03 2011

How to Make Your Girlfriend Happy

from wikiHow – The How to Manual That You Can Edit
Do you want to be the perfect guy for your girlfriend? This article explains how to be the ‘Mr Right’ she is looking for – without changing yourself!

Steps

  1. The most important thing is to learn about women. If you never understand women in general, how will you understand your girl? Women are very maternal creatures: they love taking care of things. That’s why she cooks you great meals, or worries when you don’t call after you’ve driven home. Understand that she is not being excessively clingy; it is a natural part of being a woman, and therefore part of who she is. Perceive it as a good thing; women are only inclined to do this if they genuinely love and care about you a great deal. If she has stopped doing these things, there’s something wrong! Most women are also very naturally affectionate and will often smother you with hugs and kisses and the like. The fact is, most will. That’s how they think they are showing their love for you. If you feel this is a little too much, tell her gently that you like/love her a lot, but you’re not ready for so much attention just yet. This won’t hurt her feelings, but she will get the message. Remember also that women have been raised around stories that end in girls finding the ‘Perfect Man’, become a Princess and live happily ever after. Therefore, it is ingrained into their subconsciousness that they must find a man who is perfect in every way. While this is basically impossible, this article will help you understand what will make her happy, without changing your own personality.
  2. Tell her you love her, make sure you mean it.
  3. Tell her she’s beautiful and mean it. Compliment her not only on her looks, but also on her accomplishments, talents and abilities. Always be sincere.
  4. Be confident. Be proud of being her boyfriend. There are appropriate times and places for affection. Kissing and intimate touching does not usually go over well in public. But don’t be too shy to hold her hand in public because you shouldn’t be ashamed that she’s yours.
  5. Never lie. This can taint the relationship and reduce her trust in you considerably.
  6. Do not argue in public and cause a scene. This will humiliate her and she’ll think twice about going out with you again. Similarly, If you and your girl have an argument, don’t do or say things to her that are mean and spiteful. That will make her think that you’re a maniac.
  7. Do NOT flirt with other girls at any time, especially when she’s around. It means you’re not loyal to your girl or your relationship with her. Most girls will view it as cheating and you just might lose her. Don’t be stupid.
  8. Don’t ever let her suffer from back-seat syndrome. Granted, you might have very close female friends who have been around longer. But if you appear to enjoy spending more time with them than your girlfriend – and she has noticed – she may be suffering from what girls call ‘back seat syndrome’. Think: how would you like it if she preferred hanging out with guy friends to you? What if she hung out with her guy friend alone? What if she was constantly texting other guys in your company? If she starts to mention that she is feeling second-place, change your attitude quickly, but don’t let your female friends slip out of the picture. Find balance. Don’t text them in her company, and let her know that you prefer spending time with her than other girls. Like you would with other guys, she will naturally begin to assume they are a threat. Don’t lie to her; you should genuinely enjoy spending time with your girl. If you are attracted to one of your female friends, it is a good idea to cut the communication short; it is highly likely your girlfriend will notice, and ultimately will start to consider how loyal you are to her.
  9. Don’t start getting lazy about how you look just because you think she’s yours. Continue trying to impress her because she might just lose interest if you begin to slack off.
  10. If you’re with your friends, never ignore her and start talking with your friends or walk off with them as if she’s not there. How would you feel if she did this to you? Invisible? Make sure you pay attention to her when you’re with your friends. Think about it – she’s a friend too. Girlfriend. If you’re with a group of mates, make sure she doesn’t feel left out if she doesn’t know them well. Glance at her every so often just to let her know you know she’s still there, or offer a genuine smile.
  11. Become friends with her friends. It gives you more things in common with your girl. Eventually, her friends will love you, and that’s a definite turn-on for your girlfriend.
  12. Make a good impression on her parents. Even if you don’t particularly like them, they can be your greatest allies in the long run.
  13. BE THOUGHTFUL. The small things matter the most. Be a gentleman; hold doors open for her, be polite and be helpful. Ask her if she’s cold when it’s cold out; have a jacket or a sweater handy so you can give it to her. When she isn’t feeling well, or home sick; bring her some soup, hot tea or flowers. Hold her hand at the movies or when you’re walking. Get her something just because. Make her happy by buying her little gifts. Small things like a single flower or a bag of her favourite candy or a chocolate bar will go a long way. Girls love that.
  14. Remember important dates. This is a big deal with women. Birthdays, anniversaries and other milestones are all opportunities to show her how special she is to you. When it’s her birthday, bring her breakfast in bed and some flowers. When it’s your anniversary, book something special for you both to let her know how much you appreciate and love her. Remember that women have the idea of being spoiled on these occasions embedded into their psyche from the media. Rose petals on your bed, dinner at a beautiful restaurant – she will have some expectations, and if she is realistic she will not expect much.
  15. Remember what she likes and dislikes. How does she like her eggs cooked? What is her favorite flower? Is she a morning person? She will be very impressed that you have been paying attention. Be thoughtful.
  16. Touch her regularly. Even the slightest touch can make a woman feel special. Hold her hand, give her a hug or gently touch her face–these gestures will all make her feel protected and loved.
  17. Write her love notes. They don’t have to be long, mushy and poetic if you’re not the type. But try to make them cute and show her that you care. This is a great way to be romantic. Tell her that your lucky that you found her. She loves it when you say it. Just be sure you mean it.
  18. Every woman loves a bit of alone time with her partner. Book a whole day for the two of you to be alone. Watch a movie at home, massage her back, snuggle and be intimate. She will love you for it.
  19. Share your everyday events and thoughts with your girl. Being open and communicative makes her feel like you want her in your life. On the same note, listen to her advice even if you don’t agree. Keep an open ear.
  20. Listen to her. The number one complaint many women have regarding men is that they don’t listen. Even if you’re not particularly interested in what she’s saying, listen, then acknowledge that you were listening. Let her know that you are the one that she can talk to about anything! Be there for her through thick and thin. She will feel comfortable with you and trust you.
  21. Always stand up for her no matter what. It shows her that you are always on her side.
  22. Lastly, if you want her to be yours forever, let her know you’re there for her when she needs, be by her side, and most importantly make her feel loved, special, safe and protected. Your woman wants to be your queen so treat her as such and you’ll have no problem.
  23. If she wants to pay for something, let her.
  24. Make sure you spend enough time with her.


Video


Tips

  • Make sure to remember her birthday, your anniversary and get her nice surprises. If you are forgetful or at a loss for ideas, take a look at the free service:
  • http://www.makeyourgirlfriendhappy.com


Warnings

  • Do not say or do anything that will offend her or hurt her.
  • Whatever you do, never offend her friends.
  • Do not cause an argument that isn’t necessary.
  • Don’t be afraid to give her a little hug any time.
  • Your friends might accuse you of being “whipped”. This probably isn’t true, just ignore them. At the end of the day, you have a beautiful girlfriend who loves you, so who cares?
  • Do not pressure her to have sex with you, if she wants to take it slow. Everything you do from then on will be tainted.
  • Do not text any other girls all the time. This will worry her and make her feel cheated. She’s your girl, you need no others.
  • Do not bring up your ex’s , your girlfriend will feel like shes just of one of your many.


Related wikiHows

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Make Your Girlfriend Happy. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.





Good Clean Fun: Celebrating National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (NWGHAAD)

10 03 2011

Join Red Pump Charlotte as we celebrate the day this evening at Vertical Tease Fitness:
In commemoration of National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, join Red Pump Charlotte as we Paint the Night RED. This fundraiser event will take place at Vertical Tease (Tease Fitness Boutique). Come out and learn more about The Red Pump Project and how you can become a Red Pump Rocker.
BUT WAIT…this event isn’t your average informational meeting. The night will be filled with food, laughter, education, fun and a special tease pole party. Vertical Tease will teach basic pole techniques, a sexy chair routine and give you a great workout all at the same time.
Red Pump Project – Charlotte hopes to advance HIV awareness and obtain new Red Pump Rockers to help achieve our 2011 goals. We have the power to change our world; let’s join together and do it. Everyone who attends will have the opportunity to join Vertical Tease at a discounted rate of $45.00 for one month of unlimited classes. JSW Media Group is a media/promotional sponsor of this event.
Event Information
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Doors open 6:30 PM
7:00 – 9:00 PM

 

Vertical Fitness
2125 South End Drive, Suite 251
Charlotte, NC 28203
Enter the double doors and use the call box to dial Suite 251 to be buzzed in!
$20.00 (Proceeds benefit The Red Pump Project)
Rock your Red Pumps and Comfortable Attire

For more information, email Brittani Menina, Red Pump Charlotte Ambassador, The Red Pump Project at redpumpcharlotte@theredpumpproject.com.





Guys…My Gift To You

7 03 2011

It is so important to show love to the good men in our lives.  There are so many jerks out there that we sometimes forget that there are some really great guys who are respectful and are looking to cherish us…So fellas this is for you:-)

Enjoy!





Anything for Charity: Bachelorette Date Auction

22 02 2011

If you are in Charlotte, join me on Thursday, Feb. 24th @ 935”s Red Room for the “Best Bachelorette Auction Ever 2011″ presented by www.metroproponent.com.  Free Food, Drinks and Desserts.  Proceeds from this event benefit Youth Affected by Domestic Violence!  Check out the promo video…All of the ladies are fabulous; however, I would really appreciate your bids:-)





V-Day Fast Approaching: Take Cover!

9 02 2011

I’ve been  happily/unhappily (depends on my mood at the time) single for a few years now.  I can’t count the last two major “relationships” as true dating experiences…let’s just say they were “complicated” to say the least.  Nevertheless, let’s get back to the issue at hand, for  the last three (more than that perhaps) I’ve been dateless on Valentine’s Day.  Most of my male friends don’t seem to understand the severity of this situation because, well, because they are guys.  Yeah, guys get lonely and everything…but I think for the most part the pure unadulterated sentimentality of the occasion completely escapes even the most savvy and sensitive  of my male friends.  In my experience, men think (erroneously) that just because V-Day is not a big deal to them, that it doesn’t matter.  Yes, people, I get it…it’s just a day.  But I am one of those types who is a genuine romantic…I like the big gestures (flowers, gifts, jewelry, sue me–my early loves spoiled me in that sense…high school boyfriend always brought roses when he came to take me out, college boyfriend loved buying cards, stuffed animals, going on trips together, and the steady “thought I was going to marry him” boyfriend that I had as an adult knew how to surprise a sister with jewelry, well written love notes and planning romantic nights out…so yeah, I admit it, my standards of what I call romantic gestures are kinda high.   But honestly, I repeat, honestly it is all about the sentiment all year long.  If you are kind and loving, then an extravagant V-Day isn’t necessary at all.  Ultimately, this day is simply about the outward, public display of how you should treat each other all the time.  Agree or disagree, I just think it’s cool to pick one day to go all out.  It’s V-day people…it’s supposed to be fun, carefree, romantic and loving.  And if you don’t have a V-Day partner, no worries, he or she is on the way.  In the interim, take yourself out on a date and have a ball.  You only live once–enjoy each moment to the fullest!

Fortunately, I am not one of those bitter types.  For the first time in a VERY long time, I am truly enjoying the dating game.  I like the current prospects at the moment (all super cute, driven, smart, confident, etc. etc.) so I am enjoying the pursuit.  So in observance of the day, I’m going to enjoy two of my guilty pleasures–reading trashy romance novels and watching cheesy romantic comedies from the 80′s and 90′s…I will be just fine:-).

If you do plan on making the day special for someone, check out T-Strong’s suggestions for a fun V-Day:

T. Strong Spices Up Valentine\’s Day on Fox Charlotte





Supporting Our Men

3 02 2011

I think that some times we get so caught up in the drama of relationships and dealing with “wrong” ones that we forget to support the men in our lives who are actually trying to make a difference, live up to their God-given potential and be the leaders and heads of the household that they are meant to be.  We forget about the men who embrace and value our independence and success–without perceiving it as a negative.  They understand that our independence is only a reflection of us preparing ourselves to be fully equipped as a capable partner, wife and mother to their children…These men  see the worth of having a well-adjusted, strong, mover and shaker in her own right, by his side…As I said before, a strong man isn’t afraid of a strong woman because they know a strong woman will be able to handle any situation, does not invite drama into the relationship  and knows how to relinquish the driver’s seat to her man when appropriate and necessary…

Last night I attended the My 1st Suit Launch Event, and I was impressed by all of the men I met who were on top of their game…all types of men: married, single, engaged,  etc who were there treating all of the women in attendance with respect, showing their support for a community initiative and just being great to each other…It’s refreshing to see and experience.  Renewed my faith in the male species, lol…To learn more about the My 1st Suit initiative, click here.

Music Pick for today…seemed appropriate for today’s discussion:-)

Ne-Yo – Miss Independent





On The Auction Block…

6 01 2011

It’s for charity, so I’m trying to use my singleness for a good cause.  So, someone come bid on me in Feb please, lol…and if I’m not your cup of tea, there are several other young ladies who are quite attractive and accomplished that you may take a fancy to…Regardless, this should be interesting.





No Apologies: Pretty Girls Rock

19 12 2010

Okay, so this may come off as a little arrogrant.  That is not the intention at all–please consider the previous statement my official disclaimer. 

Now on to the “controversial” semi-arrogant rant. 

I’m sick of apologizing for being a good catch.  I can unequivocably say that ALL of my close female friends are attractive, professional, loving, caring, intelligent, single, never been married women who have common sense and aren’t bringing a tremendous amount of baggage into a relationship…yet, we struggle to meet “available, well adjusted men” …I admit, I do have what are seemingly high standards…I would like  a gentleman who I date to have teeth, a job and decent noun/verb usage ability (I’m sorry but if you have to ask me what every word means when we chat on the phone, we are not compatible…period). 

Some of the men that I have had  candid conversations with regarding this subject give the same tired excuses…”Those type of women are intimidating.”  WHATEVER, dude man up, get it together and go for the challenge instead of the easy, you may just be pleasantly surprised…in my experience, men have had a tendency to project their own insecurities and subsequently convince themselves that is how we will perceive the situation.  Those same said men will then go in hot pursuit of women with multiple responsibilities that we do not currently possess i.e. those ladies  may have several children–not child, divorced or separated, currently dealing with “baby daddy” drama, no job, no aspirations, needy, looking for someone to financially “take care of ” them, etc, etc…whereas the “independent” women I speak of are truly looking for a partnership, not a bailout. 

It’s frustrating to have to constantly be put on the back burner because we did everything by the book…we went to school, exercise decent social graces, we didn’t have children before marriage, take pride in our appearance, we appreciate our friends and family…and the list goes on.  I don’t think there is a real answer to this.  I’m just venting for my friends (I’m resigned to the reality of the situation…it is what it is).  So  the following video is dedicated to my girls.  You all are gorgeous both inside and out…and to my girls with kids and are divorced, don’t take offense, it’s just that sometimes we single, never been married gals in our 30′s sometimes feel like you all get a free pass when we don’t.  But rest assured, I do realize that we are still in the same boat:-).   Enjoy peeps!  As always, respectful comments are welcomed.








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