Surveying the Scene

13 10 2008

So I’ve decided that instead of complaining about the dating scene for the professional, educated and dare I say “independent” black woman, I am going to do the unthinkable…I am going to embrace it. First of all, anyone with good common sense knows that that absolute worst thing for any woman to do is to go looking for a man. Trust and believe ladies, God will send your husband. Now, that doesn’t mean you have to wait around and be bored in the process. I’m a firm believer that you can still have fun in the interim of waiting for your soul mate (hopefully you haven’t met him yet and just didn’t recognize him for some reason, but I digress). Of course, the definition of fun varies from person to person (gal to gal in this case). For the record, I am not advocating “fun” as being synonymous with “relations”…no, no, unless you know for sure where the other person has been (and preferably wearing a gold band on the left finger), I would not suggest going out and getting your freak on in the name of pure unadulterated fun-get your minds out of the gutter people…let’s be retro for a moment and think 1950′s fun:-). But what I am saying is there is nothing wrong with “dating like a man.” Men don’t always necessarily think of every woman they go out with on a date as being their future wife. They allow themselves to get to know people without the pressures associated with desperately seeking out that life partner…ladies, it’s not that serious, plus, the desperate look is not in style last time I checked. Just chill out and have fun when you go out with a guy…stop fantasizing about what he is going to look like in his tux on your wedding date or how soon you are going to have kids and buy a house with a white picket fence together.

All in all…let nature take its course. before you know it, Prince Charming will sweep you off your feet when you least expect it. And then the daydreams will cease and the beautiful reality of a happily ever after will set in. Be patient…all in God’s time.


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Categories : Dates

To Be Loved…

7 10 2008

I was in church service on Sunday, and Pastor’s message was all about love.  His specific topic was “love will go all the way-always.”  I thought that was a great sentiment, and the whole thing really touched me.  His wife, and our other Pastor, is going through an extremely tough and turbulent battle with Cancer right now.  And what was so beautiful was that every time he said his wife’s name, there was such tangible joy and love just hanging in the air.  It got me to thinking…wow, to be loved like that…so honestly and completely.  And I know where it stems from…because Pastor has such a strong connection to God, he knows exactly what true love is; and therefore able to show true love to his wife, family and congregation in myriad ways. 

So, if I am ever going to be loved like that, I must first get my own priorities in order…I will just continue to ask God for guidance, keeping him first, and then allowing all the other pieces of the puzzle to fit together accordingly.  Love is a beautiful thing…


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Categories : love

Tips To Ensure Your Man Does Not Cheat On You

3 10 2008

I got this from another blogger…what do you all think…Fact or Fiction? 

(http://balleralert.ning.com/profiles/blog/show?id=2015113%3ABlogPost%3A200409)

Keep him intellectually stimulatedMen are easily bored by women who lack ideas and are not up to speed on the affairs of the day. In order to hold the interest of your man, you must be able to discuss ideas that will expand his knowledge base. Teach him something he does not know, or share your opinion on a subject you know he is passionate about, and you can be sure he will want to have you around for a long time.

 

Look your best

Beauty and brains attract men like moths to a flame. If you keep him intellectually stimulated, and you also have the body that excites him, you have a powerful magnet that can keep him hooked on you for as long as you wish. Make sure that you do what you must to look good. Do your hair, nails, put on a little makeup, and whatever you do, stay away from layer and layers of makeup. Get clothes that accentuate the best part of you. Do not wear tight-fitting clothes, if you do not have the shapely body to go with it. Know what fits you and wear it.

If you have not enrolled in a gym, you need to do so right away. It is not enough to just eat the right foods and pop diet pills daily. You must eat a balanced diet and enroll in an exercise regimen to help increase your metabolism. Find a workout partner, or sign up for a personal trainer at your gym who can motivate you and design a workout program to fix your problem areas. You will certainly gain good health along with a positive mental attitude. Remember, when you keep fit and look good, you are not doing it just for your man. You are doing it for yourself as well.

Massage his ego once in while

Let your man know how good he is to you and how much you value him in your life. When your man feels that he is adding value to your life, when he feels appreciated, your are massaging his ego. Now you must be careful not to overdo this; otherwise it loses its impact, and your man may see you as a “brown noser”.

Give him his space

Do not monitor how he spends every second of the day. Do not put him on a timer. Treat your man like an adult who has the ability to manage how he wants to spend his time. The more freedom you give him, more trusted he feels. And when your man feels you trust him, he is less apt to go out and cheat on you. Men will run away from you, if you try to cramp their style. If you keep tracking your where your man goes and who he is spending time with, you run the risk of alienating him.

Keep him sexually satisfied

A sexually satisfied man is like a dog that is well fed; you will not find it digging through the garbage. A sexually satisfied man is like an employee that works for a company that gives all employees full medical benefits, a great salary and excellent bonuses. You will not see an employee of such a company looking for a job elsewhere. I have used some analogies to attempt to paint a picture for you, but these scenarios fit the point I am making.

To find out the quickest way to make your man fall madly in love with you, You will get proven tips, tricks and techniques you can use to make your love sizzle and make your man fall head over heels in love with you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Ubah


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Categories : Things I find On the Net

Fact or Fiction…Scary Nonetheless

27 08 2008

I received this as a forward in my email box today….

______________

Minister with AIDS…read this. Wow!!!  


To those of you who are single or married, saved or not saved, this is for you. I am a 35-year-old African American or Black brother dying of Aids. I would like to share my testimony with you. I am an owner of a Mortgage Company in Atlanta , GA. I own a 1999 Jaguar and I also own a $350,000 beautiful home in Cobb County . I have a beautiful Lady who is deeply in love with me and a loving family. But most important, I have Jesus…..

This is just a wake up call to all single brothers and sisters who are professing to be Christians, but don’t want to be complete. Brothers, I had a beautiful young lady who loves the Lord and worships the ground I walk on. BUT I still wasn’t quite happy because sometimes I would see another sister with a Coca-Cola bottle shape and just wanted to hit it. Because I was using a condom, I thought that I wouldn’t catch the killer ‘AIDS’ but guess what? I did. And the person I caught it from was a girl that I knew well. But the condom came off and now I am dying of AIDS. Yes, I wore a condom. But yes it did happen.
God gives us time after time to straighten our lives up. I do know the Lord in the pardon of my sins. I’ve been saved now for 7 years. I found out 7 months ago that I had the virus, and now I have full-blown Aids. I really didn’t think that I was doing anything wrong, because I would tell the women who I would deal with about the woman I love. I thought that was good enough. But it wasn’t. I am a good man and also a God-fearing man; but my weakness was women.. I really wasn’t out there like you may think I was, but every once and a while I would see something I wanted to try. My girlfriend is a praying woman. I know now that she was intimate with me because she loved me and she wanted to make me happy. Now I’ve given AIDS to the woman I love (who has been faithful to me) because of lust.


Brothers and sisters, what I am telling you is that God is tired of us hurting each other and using each other for self-gratification. God has given me my home, my dream car and a beautiful woman and I took it all for granted. I’ve been tithing for 7 years. I am the chairman of my Deacon Board. But when I told my Pastor I had AIDS, he could not believe it because of the way I would carry myself. Brothers. If you have a sister who loves the Lord and who loves you for who you are and not for what you look like and not for what you have, cherish her. Sisters…If you have a brother who loves the Lord, love him and cherish him.


My life has been altered. I’ve been with my lady since I was 20, and I’ve always used my young age as an excuse for not being loyal and not settling down with the woman I loved. I was being a hypocrite thinking that I was missing something, and not realizing that I had a good woman who loved and adored me. I wish I had been a real man and had appreciated the good woman God had sent me by not making excuses and dedicating my life to her. I would love to travel and marry this beautiful young Lady — but now I can’t.


I’ve embarrassed my family, my church and my friends. But I was hardheaded and now I must suffer. God is cleaning up. Stop playing with God. God is revealing the secrets of us Christians. Brothers and sisters, we don’t have to have so many ‘friends,’ You know what we call them. The ones we are planning to sleep with but haven’t yet.’ We often say that we don’t want anyone to know our business, but God is about to reveal some things especially to us young people.

We think so carnal. But we say that we have been transformed. We have been transformed from what we want to be transformed from.. Let’s be real. God knows that the opposite sex attracts us. And he knows the desires we have for each other, but we don’t have to have multiple partners. If I could do it all over again, I would marry the woman I love and live happy forever. But now I can’t! But you can!
Singles… I gotta tell you, it’s not worth it. I love you all!  Get rid of casual sex . This is really deep. After you’ve read this, think about yourself. Could this have been you? Some of you may not relate, but think about anything you are doing right now that is not of God…

We are living in the last and final days, and pretending to be saved is not going to cut it. Professing that He is Lord, and yet worshiping the devil every chance you get will lead you to the same path as me. Get your mind out of the gutter and put it in the Word of God and you’ll have great success. Don’t and you’ll have great woe. I love the LORD and thank Him for all that He does in my life; therefore, I’m passing this on. Yes, I do love Jesus who has forgiven me of the repeated sins.
That forgiveness does not cancel out the consequences, at least not so far. But that’s on me. Still, the Lord is my source of existence and Savior.  He keeps me functioning each day and is letting me share my story with you.  I’m telling it like it is THIS REALLY is to help somebody. Without Him, I will be nothing. Without Him, I am nothing but with Him I can do all things.

Phil 4:13 If you love Jesus, send this to lots of people!!!!!!

Be Positive – Be Progressive.Take the time to make a positive difference in someone’s life.

Minister Anthony J. Cox


God Bless ‘When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.’
To whom Much is Given, Much is required. 

Jeremiah 29:11 I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out–plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.


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Categories : No Ring No Sex, Things I find On the Net

Old Flames

26 08 2008

I have a dinner date with an old flame next week, which may prove to be quite the event.  Am I wrong to add him to the dating pool?  It’s not that I am expecting to rekindle anything, nor do I really want to, but there is something so nice about hanging out with someone who knows you so well.  He is really stepping his flirt game up too, with more effort than ever before.  if anything, I need a good dinner and even better conversation…so what the heck…I’ll keep ya posted.  In other news, I have a pending dinner date with “the muscian.”  He has offered to cook me a vegan meal…which I must admit is my weakness–A man that can cook a meal that I can eat, lol…

What can I say?  I like being treated like a queen…but I love catering to my man.  Trust and believe my next boyfriend will be a very happy man…


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Categories : Dates

Back in the Saddle

14 08 2008

I jumped feet first back into the dating game this weekend after a self imposed hiatus.  It felt great to be asked out, picked up and wined and dined…just as it should be for a “Dating Diva.”  It was perfect, great conversation and no expectations.  My date was a perfect gentlemen, despite the fact that he was a musician, see previous post for explanation., lol. 

I am seriously interested in another person right now, but because of the unavailabilty of that situation at the moment, a sista has gotta keep her options open…so I decided to do just that, live, love and enjoy life while keeping everything as chaste as possible…it’s  a struggle, but one that I am looking forward to enduring.  That which does not kill us, makes us stronger, n’est-ce pas?


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Play Me A New Song Please…

9 08 2008

Top 5 Reasons Why I Really Hate Dating Musicians

 

yummy

yummy

5) Immature
They are so used to living their dream sometimes that the realities of life are a bit much. They are still staying up all night, sleeping all day, and waiting for that perfect gig to just fall in their lap.

4) Groupies
Even if the artist/musician/rapper (fill in the blank) is not attractive by societal standards, just by the mere fact that they are in a band, play an instrument or know how to rap, that makes them mad attractive to those I would classify as professional groupies…they women are relentless. While there is no real reason to be jealous of these women, one should still be careful…musicians and groupies operate in symbiotic relationships; it’s almost parasitic and it is always gross.

3) Instability
They are here today and gone tomorrow. Making plans with a music artists is a shot in the dark, your date will also get displaced by a gig, meeting or otherwise “once in a lifetime” opportunity. AND they will always blame you, saying “you never told me we had plans.” Yeah, okay.

2) Arrogant & Self Absorbed
It’s one thing to be confident, in the entertainment business it is a necessary evil sometimes. However, there is a distinct difference between having total and complete belief in your abilities and being an arrogant A@#. Confidence is attractive, arrogance turns my stomach. It’s not cute, it’s downright annoying. In addition, artists also tend to be completely and utterly self-absorbed (this also extends to visual artists, photographers and promoters). Being self absorbed makes trying to make a relationship with that person a complete disaster. Because of the self involvement they are unaware of your needs …and they are always shocked and surprised when you get upset about something. As if to say, “why in the world would someone be angry with me, I never do anything wrong.” Uh huh…This is the reason why Groupies make the perfect girlfriends for these types…they have low emotional expectations and they have no problem listening to you talk incessantly about yourself for hours on end…yawn.

1) They’re Sexy
So you may be thinking, how is this a con? Well, because they are charismatic and generally very, very sexually appealing, we tend to forget all of the other shortcomings and we get sucked in…It’s a circular, deadly phenomenal. So take heed, next time that sexy musician wants to take you out on a date, remember my words of caution, and find someone else to tickle your fancy.


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Categories : Who Not To Date

Stuck Between a Rock & a Hard Place

20 03 2008

My emotions have been all over the board lately…I have two very nice gentlemen who, somehow, have been able to fly under the radar and penetrate my defenses…I am not exactly sure how that happened. After publicly and privately proclaiming my willingness, not to forget eagerness at being single, happy and carefree with my casual dating situation (couple of dinners here, meetings over coffee there), how did I get here? I’m currently at a place where both guys like me very much (I think) and are appreciative to what I could potentially bring to the table in terms of relationship currency. And these two fellas couldn’t be more alike AND different, talk about a sista being confused. Both have the heart of an artist and the mind of an astute business executive, which is an extremely attractive and magnetic quality. But how they are showing their interest in me is in start contrast. Basically, one guy is aggressive and forward in letting me know his feelings. The other, talk about passive aggressive….but he still shows affection in the most simple and sweet ways. The comfort level is amazing. I don’t know. We will see what develops. Both need to step it up though, before neither gets the prize.


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Categories : Uncategorized

Hiatus???

16 03 2008

So I am strongly considering going an all out dating hiatus (or dating freeze, whichever term makes you happy), but I’m not sure. Several of my friends have decided to do it, and they are having great results…But seriously, do I want to give up going and interacting with men just because? HECK NO…I admire my friends who are able to do it , and I even respect the reasons for which they have decided to halt on “dating.” But after taking a long look at myself, I can honestly say…I’m okay. Although there are things that I personally want to work on about myself, I feel comfortable with my state of being at the moment, that allowing a man to get to know me would not be a distraction or a detriment at this point in time. Still…the dating hiatus thing is one to chew one, who knows, maybe I will take the plunge.


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Categories : Dates, Uncategorized

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